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The Spruce Tip is where Alaskans can come to catch up on the latest local news that isn't real. We publish high class works of low brow  journalism from writers state-wide, and all articles are vetted by old homsteaders with really burly beards and super sharp axes. 

Our journalists have been honorary judges for the Alaska State Fair Giant Cabbage Limerick Contest, have worked on significant (unapproved) amendments to the Alaska Constitution, and know how to keep their freezers full. Founded in 2021, The Spruce Tip has been nominated for both a Pulitzer and for the Nobel Peace Prize, for our significant coverage of the infamous 1994 Alaska Zoo encounter between drunk teenagers and Binky the Polar Bear.

We are always seeking submissions and news tips, see the "Contact" section.

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White House tells Alaskans they're no longer allowed to say "The Lower 48"

  Read the full executive order here . Map prints available from Williwaw Publishing . A new executive order from the White House aims to curtail use of the term “Lower 48,” and Alaskans who continue to use the term that the White House calls “insulting,” are threatened with confiscation of personal firearms among other punishments. According to the executive order, Alaskans will now be required to refer to the contiguous forty-eight states as “The Glorious Continuity.” “While Hawaii has graciously adopted the term “mainland”, reads the executive order, “citizens of its sibling to the North use the pejorative ‘lower 48.’  Today I make clear that we the contiguous people will no longer live under such abuses .” Alaskans of varied backgrounds condemned the mandate. Jeff Bowen, strategist for the Alaska Democratic Party, expressed his frustration. “I support the president’s efforts to slow offshore drilling, and implement a fair tax structure. But taking away my right to verba...

Fairbanks man “for sure” going to finish putting up house siding this summer

  When Kevin Currier moved up to Fairbanks in 1992, he didn’t wait long to buy his own slice of paradise. The 1.5 acre plot of land, located just off Farmers Loop Road, had everything he wanted. A gravel pad was already installed and it lay just outside the permafrost zone, not too far from the golf course.  Currier built a one bedroom dry cabin on the property with the help of two friends his first summer, but he was enrolled at the university and just barely managed to get the plywood and insulation up before the weather turned. He spent his first three winters in the unfinished house, as first one thing, then another, kept him from finishing the construction of his home.  “You know how it is here in Alaska,” said Currier. “It’s really the land of opportunity. Trails to ride, mountains to climb, late night calls from the troopers to go field dress another roadkill moose... Unfortunately, that’s always made it hard to find those extra couple days to finish...

Lawmakers expecting an influx of oil money say they'd like to save some ... PSYCH!!!

  Okay, so the headline is pretty much real--we stole that shit straight off Anchorage Daily News--but  who the hell actually believes a headline like that? Let’s report what lawmakers actually [probably] said  in the face of oil revenue windfalls.   Rep. David Eastman, a Wasilla Republican and life member the Oath Keepers–which has been  described by some as a domestic terrorist hate group–suggested that at least some of the excess  money could be used to support his fellow members in Alaska. Many Oath Keepers face skyrocketing  legal bills after their indictments for participating in the Jan 6th insurrection and attack on the US  capitol.   Sen. Scott Kawasaki, a Fairbanks Democrat, strongly opposed this notion, suggesting instead that the  money go to support legal costs not related to sedition or treason.     "Like, no way dude, that money needs to go to social programs, and to pay MY legal bills after that  snafu...